I don't think I can live through this anymore

[cat03]

hugs)))))))) I know, it is unfair, it is awful... and you WILL survive it, just like all of us here in the DB boards, I have two kids and I'm surviving it, I sure as heck would've love to have him in the family, but without him I still have a loving family and two little ones who adore me to pieces, just like you.

And it wasn't "just like that", in his mind, he's been emotionally gone for a while, I know you've been holding on to dear life hoping that he'll turn back and want to stay but *his* reality is much different than your hon.

He again said he doesn't know if he can, and there's just nothing there. . .He keeps saying nothing has changed, but he'll do nothing about it.

This is my story too, H stopped sleeping with me, for 6mths it was like having a room mate, at MC he'd tell the MC he just couldnt' find it in him to be loving or affectionate towards me, the MC explain to him you ccan't have loving feelings back if you *dont* act loving. H always read that as pressure, and our R didn't improve, I understand what you are saying. Whatever his hang up is, he is refusing to take steps, not because you are not worth/deserving of his love, is that he has nothing to give, he's prob empty inside.

The first step is to let go of your fear, you CAN make it, you WILL be happy, with or without him, I know it is horribly hard to even think of a future without the person whom you thought would never leave, but in order to regain some sanity, some normalcy, for your children! you must believe in yourself.

He said he prob wants D, that still means nothing, when my H first left he had a L and all (back in 05), but he even dropped him down the line, so talking D doesn't mean it will happen. Perhaps your H needs to reach rock bottom to see where his unhappiness is coming from. All is not lost.

Now dry your tears and be that strong person you can be, you will be alright.