I don't think I can live through this anymore

[KPK]

This morning, H, who physically moved out about 4 weeks ago, was in a separate room for 3 months before that, and told me ILYBNILWY in July 07, said (over the phone) he was "probably" ready to file for divorce. After 11 years and 2 kids, just like that. I always knew this was a distinct possibility, but hearing those words was like another knife in my heart- I didn't go to work, and I've been crying for 5 hours now. I don't know what to do. Then he called and said we should talk some more, and that we shouldn't call the lawyers yet. What does that mean? He said he couldn't get his physical feelings back for me, and nothing has changed in the last 8 months. I said nothing changes on its own, you have to try to make changes. He again said he doesn't know if he can, and there's just nothing there. I can't take this constant pain. What am I waiting for here? He keeps saying nothing has changed, but he'll do nothing about it. I'm GAL, but I see him all the time because of the kids. I can't imagine raising these two kids without him, or with someone else. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm so tired of crying.