Personally, moving on for me meant letting go of the past, forgiving H for his mistakes, forgiving myself for my own, GAL, and doing things that made me feel good. Had to make myself happy because no one else could or even should be expected to do that for me.
Totally agree. Here is the thing, I AM happy (although I would be a lot happier if that dang house would sell). I am finally there again. I never depended on H to MAKE me happy. I was unhappy in the beginning of this...but who wouldn't be? I haven't really let go of the past yet. I haven't really forgiven H yet either....but I could do both if he would just be open honest with me. Otherwise I have no closure. Why doesn't he get that????
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However, while I was 'moving on' and living my life, I also knew that I ultimately wanted my family back. I wanted my M back. So even though I went and did my own thing for all that time, I still chose to leave the door open for my H. If he chose to come in, good. If not, then at least I know I tried everything and never gave up. At least I knew that I never totally shut him out.
What would have made you shut the door? You mentioned that you dated someone else...would you have always let your H come back? If so, how is that fair to the person you dated? GF, please know that I am not judging you in any way, just trying to understand how to move on and still leave the door open.
As you can probably tell from my most recent posts, I am just really at that point of shutting it I think. I feel like I want to have a convo with H and telling him that I need him to put forth some effort and if he doesn't want to we will file for D. I really feel like I will be ok with whatever answer he gives me.
As I am typing, H called me at work. H: Just wondering if you knew the number to the salon. K: Yes H: Will you text it to me, I can't write it down right now. K: Ok H: Alright, I appreciate it. I haven't talked to him since Monday...and I don't even get a hey how's it going? How are you? Nothing. The R just feels so empty. I need more.
). I am finally there again. I never depended on H to MAKE me happy. I was unhappy in the beginning of this...but who wouldn't be? I haven't really let go of the past yet. I haven't really forgiven H yet either....but I could do both if he would just be open honest with me. Otherwise I have no closure. Why doesn't he get that????