w2m,

What is your goal?

If it is to push your H out the door, then keep doing what you're doing.

But if it is not, and I believe it's not, then you have GOT TO STOP yourself from this behavior. This is the ONLY thing YOU have control over.

I can totally empathize with you and the need you have to feel reassured, but you have got to get a grip on yourself.

Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell