Well, I may have wimped out some, but I responded to her note point by point. Don't know if it's acceptable to say here, but I've been working with Marriage Builders and if you're familiar with them, it seems that she's gone from the withdrawal state to the conflict state which is necessary before you can move into the intimacy state. I figure as long as she's dumping on me, at least she's sharing her feelings and that's what I NEED to begin to break down the wall that's between us.
I didn't want to throw down the gauntlet if she's at least TALKING to me about it. That's the first step in WORKING on the marriage. We'll see how she responds. I can always pull out the plan FU if I need to.
I'll let you know how she responds.
Hope,
I'm not only familiar with MB's concepts, I'm an advocate of them. I own many of Dr. Harley's books. You're misunderstanding their teaching: they teach that you cannot even move INTO the withdrawal stage (much less the subsequent "conflict" stage) until the OM is completely out of the picture. In fact, that is precisely WHY the MB folks are so strong about "no-contact" and "transparency" plans, so that you can start the painful withdrawal process, and begin to work the marriage back thru the stages toward conflict and then intimacy.
Go re-read Harley -- you're way off base if you think that's what they're teaching. NOTHING your wife is throwing at you now is anything other than FOG, in my opinion.
