How to get past the sex thing

[sage]

Today, thinking back about it, I realize that she just gave me a big clue. I need to go back to what was working in the weeks before D-day. I need to be (or act as if I'm) happy, mostly stop the R talk, plan dates and family outings, and reduce the pressure on her. I have also mostly, but not entirely, cut out the snooping (this is really hard for me). This will cut out many arguments, and these days the snooping generally leads to suspicion only, not hard evidence. She knows that this doesn't mean that it's OK to contact the OG, and knows that there could be real consequences if I find out she's been with him again. But I need to trust the untrustworthy, in order to realize the potential down the road.

Brian

Brian -- YES! Wonderfully wise words from you! The essence of DB'ing!

Sage