na- You are making progress...I am so happy for you. I hope that things continue. Just be prepared for those little dips in the roller coaster...maybe if you will keep your PMA up, you won't even notice the dips.
Did you H take his ring off as soon as he left? Keep us posted.
hi peace- It was sort of mutual at the start. Right at the bomb, he said we should see a C, and I found one and we went a few times. At that point, he was just ready to cash it in and run, seemed to see the C only to discuss how to deal with things for the kids' sakes. I didn't feel like the C we were seeing at that time helped us at all, so I started looking for another one, who was goal-oriented, and I found the woman we go to now. He wasn't into it the first few times, blew it off once or twice, but now it seems to be working.
NA But the bottom line was he was showing some kind of sign to work on M right
peace- It's hard to explain, but with the first few attempts at C, I could just tell he wasn't into it at all. At our first visit with our current C, she asked us to rate on a scale of 1-10 how hard we were willing to work to save the marriage and he couldn't say, he just said it was "a low number."
BIG UPDATE: H told me on Friday that he was working on transitioning out of his condo to move back home, if it was OK with me. He gave notice to his landlord and is trying to get rid of some of the stuff he bought when he moved in. I told him that I wanted him to be sure that he is doing this because he wants to, not because he feels he needs to (money reasons). He said it was both needing to and wanting to. He told the older kids yesterday.
I'm a little shocked, worried, happy, relieved. I just want to be sure that we are moving forward and don't end up back in the place where we were last year when things went south.
wow, that is exciting news! I know it might be scary, but this will give you even more time to continue DBing-which we all know needs to continue for life.
on the ring. yes, be sure not to be down or disappointed if he doesn't put it on very soon. Putting that on is like he's rededicating himself to you. (oh, and good job covering for yourself too.. we all slip up now and again).
I remember telling my H that I didn't know if he would ever let me know that he wanted to be with me again, and I told him that he could just use the ring to let me know. He ended up telling me himself anyways, which was so not like him, and so cool. But it definitely wasn't anytime soon after my comment.
Your doing awesome! very happy for you
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
He gave notice to his landlord and is trying to get rid of some of the stuff he bought when he moved in. I told him that I wanted him to be sure that he is doing this because he wants to, not because he feels he needs to (money reasons). He said it was both needing to and wanting to. He told the older kids yesterday.
