OT is right on the money--the emotional battles will blow over and become things of the past, but that healing won't start until you can keep yourself from engaging in the painful interactions. It's easier said than done, but part of the growing process. You're already mostly there hon, you KNOW why you have to keep working on detaching, biting your tongue (or typing fingers ), getting yourself to do it is the hardest part, but will get easier with practice.
You are doing such a fabulous job--hang in there, I wish I could come to your dance class, it sounds so fun!