Hi Bri,
Well we had been having sex the entire time, that was never an issue, My H usually initated it. It makes me sick because I didn't know what to do about anything because my H kept insisting there was nothing going on (just friends) the OW also insisted the same thing until the second time I called and confronted her because of something my H said, she admitted to having an EA with him but that they never slept together ( but at the end of the conversation she wanted to know the last time my H & I slept together) she claims he told her he hadn't slept with me since the end of Dec. so I started to wonder then. That's when I had finally had it & told my H I would be filing for D & that I didn't want him to come back. That's when things started to change he told me he didn't want that, he kept texting me and leaving me messages because I would not answer my phone(either one) It wasn't till about a month after we started to work things out that I asked if h slept w/ h & h said yes. I don't know why it came as such a shock, but it broke my heart. I swore that if my H ever did anything like that to me there would be no ? I would be gone, but here I am (I guess it's hard to throw 16yrs. down the drain) I just hope h doesn't think that if this would ever happen again it would be ok because I would take h back. I worry about that, I am a worrier I worry about things before they happen if they ever even do. Things seem like we are back on track, but I also worry that I will do something to send h running back to h. I still feel like I can't get mad or upset about anything, because it might end up in a fight & that was one of the biggest things my H said we fought everyday. Granted we were fighting because h wasn't coming home & because I wanted answers about his so called friend. I don't know the only thing I know is that this is so hard and it is a nightmare to put it mildly,I will never be able to forget this I forgave h but it will never leave me, & the trust issue I think will take a very long time. You are very luckly your W does not work w/ the OG it is very nerve racking, but I can't ask my H to quit because h makes very good money there & has been there for along time, if he went somewhere else h wouldn't start out making as much, we can't afford that. I also know what you mean about asking what they are thinking. I just ask if something is wrong or did h have a bad night if h chooses to talk to me about whatever ok, I don't ask about the details of the A because now I am to the point where I don't want to know because I don't think it would do the M any good, because it would constantly be on my mind. Does it look to you like your W has ended it? Can you see any evidence without asking to much or snooping? I know patience will be hard for you but try, because I often think your probably not any happier if you are D. Like I said you and only you know how you feel & what you want. Let me know how things are going, I'll be thinking of you.
~~K~~