Hope,

I'm sorry she's being so stubborn; I know this sukks.

I would send her a very short response:

"Wife,

I'm so very sorry that you still feel this way. I had really hoped that you would want to end your affair, and come back and work on our marriage.

I'm not going to respond to all of your points, because frankly I owe you nothing at this point, but the sad fact is that i DON'T trust you, and that trust was killed ENTIRELY by your own selfish decision to have an affair.

Still, I was willing to forgive, and to work on our marriage, including my own issues.

As for "making you look bad," I"m afraid you've done that to yourself, and I will no longer lie for you nor shelter you from the consequences of your own poor decisions.

I do thank you for your clarity in your response, however -- it helps me make my decisions.

-Hope"