Quote: I'd like to think that the high drama stage of finding out about the A, catching her still in contact with him, etc, is over. My mind and body are tired of the depression, the sleepless nights, and being constantly feeling drained emotionally. I hope that the next stage brings at least a little more sleep, a little more energy, and a little less obsession.
I think you have realistic expectations, Brian. My experience has been that of small steps forward with some periods of no progress and some setbacks. Your W has said that she has made her decision, and while I know how you feel about not trusting what she says anymore, try to build on that positive. I wouldn't be too surprised about the reinitiation of phone or email contact between them, but I think your boundary (no resumption of sex) is clear enough. If your W fell in love with this OM, it will take some time for those feelings to fade, and probably even longer for her to be fully reinvested in your M.
As to the sex, try to think in DR terms. Are you always the pursuer? What about before the A? Whatever the case, try something different next time and see how she responds. So, for example, if you usually initiate, don't. Let her know you're available, but back off and see what happens. If that doesn't work (give it a few weeks), reevaluate and try another strategy. You can create other, non-sexual memories in the meantime that can also be pleasant.
