I think we are in a rut

[klm]

I'm with Kris on the snooping thing... like her, I've got a H who will probably never tell me the truth until he is CAUGHT.

Exactly. I think that is why I feel the need to do it. And also, if I don't "validate" what he is saying...then how will I know he is telling the truth. It isn't like I can just trust what he says anymore.

Frankly, he simply has this twisted belief that it's better to leave it hidden. (in other words for HIM... certainly... for her cuz she's married... but certainly NOT for me.)

My H has the same belief. He says he does it to protect me..BS, he does it to protect HIM. He even admitted that when I called him on it.

Some people, it might be ok for... ME... and clearly some others here... we just want and need the truth. From the affair stuff I've read... Everybody's way of coping is different. The lies, and the continued denial is worse than the deception of the affair, in many people's hearts.

I agree, I NEED the truth. Without it, I simply can't go on. I don't need details, I just need him to admit it to me and quit lying. Now his story is that they only kissed...again BS...that is just the only thing I have proof of. Before they were "just friends", she was one of the guys, in fact...she was a lesbian. I told my H that him lying to me then and especially now made me feel worse than the affair even did.

And as Kris said... if each of us actually do want to be married to a lying slimey piece of... *smile*

Did I say that?? Lol