I get so much out of everyone else's posts--I'm glad that you can find something usefull from my experiences.
What helped was that my H finally started talking to me. I have to really keep calm at some parts of his story--part of me wants to freak out at how calmly he can desccribe pursuing another woman! I try to listen as if I am listening to a friend so I can be more objective and really understand what H had been thinking and going through--but it took awhile for me to calm down enough to do that. Our goal is to both really understand what happened and what we could have done differently at various points---so this will NEVER happen again.
