HiC, wanted to let you know DB coaching went great...very positive and insightful. And she says we are "teetering on stage 2", that was like an x-mas gift. I put a lot of it in my solution journal.
Thanks for the kind words jaws...
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Their is no reason to get nasty. I remain polite and firm. I am letting her know that I am not pleased with her decision and I will remember her unwillingness to give me back time that I gave up.
you are right about nasty and a long while back I started saying something to the effect of, "why are you getting angry" and this helped. You can control yourself with polite and calm. I would like to point out that you have told her that you don't like what she did with children visitation. I would not tell her things like remembering her unwillingness to give time back. It shows negativity and is putting guilty on her. It's not going to give you those days back, now. My W did this kind of thing around x-mas. It was wrong and I knew it, but nothing good will occur if I were to do like family told me...go up there and get her now...It's a very fine line...doormat or polite, confident, etc...say what you got to say - briefly and be done, but try to avoid the guilt part maybe say something like I don't understand. You'll get those days back...it just won't be when vacation over. She'll need the days later. Don't let it bother you. Water off a duck. When she calms down, in time, she won't use kids to hurt you. And remember work vs vacation is irrelevant...she is looking for an excuse b/c she doesn't want to do this "nice" thing for you.
