Trusting, I think the dark is good for us because it helps us adjust to taking care of ourselves and not worrying about every little thing they do.
You may need to go a long time. I think I will have to go a long time.
But don't let your H's indirect attacks on you let you feel you are making a bad decision. Dark is boundaries and peace for you, and when it feels more peaceful for you, that is a good thing.
The fact that your H had the need to compare your past R w/his current one says that he has NOT moved on. He is racked with guilt, I think.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
I just bought the "Prodigals Perspective" by SteinKamp. It is excellent. I highly recommend it.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
T I love that book and find myself rereading it over and over according to him, they are racked with guilt sorry about the OW kid and most likely that child will be hurt too peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
I just got the book 2 days ago and I have read it 3 times.
The part that really hits home with me is that they try to "push your bottons" big time to get you to react negatively to them. My ex is trying every thing he can. I will make sure it does not work.
They try so hard to make you act like a raving bitch.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
I have that book also.....Sandy recommended it...read it in a day....what an awesome book...saw so much of my life in there....
My H is also trying to push buttons but using OW to do it...Flauting things about her in front of me...like clock watching when he is with my kids...rushing around....stupid stuff like that...I have been ignoring him for the most part but OMG it's hard...
(((hugs))))
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
Ex picked my daughter up this morning and stayed and talked for an hour and a half. I was late but it was worth it. No spewing or negativity. He is becoming more and more like his old self. We talked about the baby alot and how wonderful she is. This was very weird since he resented her at the beginning of his mid life crisis (she is adopted).
When I got to work I sent him an email because he had asked about my vacation plans with the kids.
I said: "Hey _______
I wanted to follow up with what we discussed this morning. I was doing some thinking and feel it would be best if I did not take the kids to Disney in October since you are taking them in August. This probably is for the better because my funds are limited. I am just grateful that they are going on a nice vacation with you.
Have a Great day...."
Ex responded with,
Trusting
"That was a very sweet email. It is nice to see that side of you, Thank You"
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
