He think new me is temporary and once he comes back to me I would go back to old me, boaring person. He says I am working on myself only for him to look at me.
I heard these words from my H, too. I don't know how many times he didn't ask me about my changes and my usual answer was, I don't want to be that person anymore. Keep on doing what you're doing, for yourself, and he will see YOU.
And keep on being mysterious, too! Go for RED nails next time (but I like peach, too).
To echo what has already been said above, keep doing what you're doing for you. I love Joie's idea about the red polish. =)
It must be so difficult having your family so far away and not even being able to talk to them about what you're going through. I haven't told my family anything either... so I've been avoiding calls because I'm not my usual happy self. Sigh.
Just keep enjoying your babies, do as much as you can for YOU, stay mysterious and try to find some joy in each day. Your H will come around because you are an extraordinary woman (I just hope he can prove himself worthy of you).
Have a happy day!
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
Ladies! Thank you for the support. It made my day. I was in the good mood from the beginning and I am about to go to bed and still feeling good. It is wonderful to have you all to support me. I was able to change my perspective, focus on myself and kids.
Mysterious is a big task for me. I am trying to read "Why men love bi*ches".. hoping help me a little. Still, I am confused how can I be mysterious.. Joie, I think you are right about 'red' nails.. probably my H would think ."um?? what's going on..???" I am very simple person. If I am happy with one thing, I would just stay with it. Clothe style, hair style (everyday same..)
What do you do have variety of 'you' and stay mysterious? Please tell me and give me some ideas please~
Beauty
Me:31 H:29 D:7 S:2 M:7y Together:8y found out his A :07/07 bomb:11/01/07 s: 11/15/07 OW-1 is out of state; other female friends around first thread
Sometimes being mysterious is more about doing a 180 for yourself. I did some tanning, got some younger clothes, went to a tanning salon, even got a bikini last year. Not very mysterious, I really did those things for my own PMA but I know my H noticed.
If you have the same routine every day, what can you do to change it from time to time? New hair style? Red nails are a possibility! Or, just spend a bit more time with the hair, make-up, etc. He will notice, and wonder what's up.
This isn't so mysterious but I did a couple 'favors' for my H totally unannounced. We each do our share of our chores around the house and one day I did his -- just out of the blue. He was very appreciative. Wanted to know what was up. NOTHING. I just did it.
Oh, that book. H's OW (EA - also our mutual friend and colleague) gave me that book to read. I'm a very sweet person by nature and she's known as a b*tch. The book had some interesting points such as making sure to focus on your own life (basically GAL) but some of its content was pretty lame (how to fake an orgasm????).
I'm so glad you are in a good state of mind. =)
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
Hi Joie! I got new eye shadows today. I am going to try different colors~ I am still looking for other 180s. It is hard but pretty fun to find out about myself.
Girl! Yes, you are right about the book. Some info are 'hun???' I am rediscovering myself and it is fun to see what I have done was right or wrong. I think I am 'doormat' type for a long time. I gained so much control my life and am glad I am no longer doormat.
Journaling---So far, my weekend is very quiet. H started a new job and he does not like it. He says he is happy to make some money thou. H wants to go to lunch together tomorrow after work. He says he miss kids.
Last night was good too. We went grocery shopping and had dinner together. We had to stop by in-laws house but we decided to cook dinner there after all. We cooked and ate together while in-laws play with kids and have pizza which was delivered before we got there. So H and I were alone in the kitchen/dinning area. We had long conversation about just about any topics. Out of blue, I asked H if he will ask me out (I just wanted to do something grown up things...) He said..."we are cooking and having dinner together aren't we?" So, I am thinking he is trying althoug I want a DATE! It is a process and I am willing to accept the baby step.
One topic we have been talking about is his famiy reunion. His parents and sisters already think I am going and we talked about it multiple times. It was planned from 2-3 years ago. He was absent from all family conversation past 6 months and he just didn't pay attention to what was going on. A few days ago he finally talked to me about it. This is the quote from text..
"hey lovely... i feel like no matter what between us...i would like to come to reunion this summer. ur not being left out. "
"no matter what between us".. I feel it means 'I don't know what it would look like at the time' It is going to be a long process if we are going to work on M... Beauty
Me:31 H:29 D:7 S:2 M:7y Together:8y found out his A :07/07 bomb:11/01/07 s: 11/15/07 OW-1 is out of state; other female friends around first thread
Beauty, New eye shadow gets ** stars New job for H - *** (even if he doesn't like it) Lunch after work with H - **** Cooking/eating dinner together - **** Making "small talk", not R related - ***** Him including you in the family reunion - ****** !
I think it's great that you asked for a date. Even if he didn't bite, I can guarantee you he's thinking about it! You wait, I bet within a couple weeks he'll ask you.
Hi Joie and Girl I LOVE the stars!! Thank you Joie. I really do feel things between us is better. He says still busy with school work and we have not spent time much together last couple days. I have been really busy with my job as well. I feel better about myself and am motivated to do things around house and work. I am giving lots of hugs and kisses to kids. It is really good feeling. I enjoy small things last couple days.
I am enjoying the outside! It is soo nice and finally out of winter! I cannot wait to go to park, walk, just be outside. H and I did that all the time... I hope we can do those things soon again.
I worked so much past two days... I am ready for good night sleep~ Beauty
Me:31 H:29 D:7 S:2 M:7y Together:8y found out his A :07/07 bomb:11/01/07 s: 11/15/07 OW-1 is out of state; other female friends around first thread
Journaling.. Some baby steps but my gut is telling me other things.. He hugs me more than usual. He look at me alot (paying attention what I do, say etc.) But not feeling satisfied.. It seems like he is spending lots of time 'alone'. He still on 'text' all the time. He is talking & texting a lot with one number that I found in my cell phone statement (still have family plan) I don't think he has mentioned this person to me at all since the area code is not local (most of college students in town use their hometown number.. so prob his college 'friend') The last date of the billing is April 7ht. He was talking to her constantly last week and I believe it is still going on. I am glad that I have this information.. I know how he is doing outside my sight. Beauty
Me:31 H:29 D:7 S:2 M:7y Together:8y found out his A :07/07 bomb:11/01/07 s: 11/15/07 OW-1 is out of state; other female friends around first thread
