Broken heart

[thegoodfight]

The emotions you are experiencing are very natural and healthy. Because it hurts it means you care, you trusted her, now that trust is broken.

First off, being a family of faith the first thing to watch for is the traps. Example feelings of revenge or to hurt back, because you were hurt. Two wrongs don't make a right. Next find and read all the material you can on Divorce Remedy, after the affair, how to regain and rebuild trust.

I think counseling is a wonderful idea, however I would caution if you are not ready to hear her grievences I might suggest just indvidual counseling.

You are right you are not to blame for the affair, it was a bad choice on her part. Just like looking at porn, which she obviously has a problem with was a bad choice on your part. Okay you are both human and make mistakes. The real issue becomes allow yourself and your W time to deal with each has done and how the other feels about it.

Allow yourself to feel the emotions you have, but don't get stuck.

Denial, why did this happen, this can't be happening

Anger, how can she does this to me

Bargaining, Here if I do this you do this, if I change this will you change this.

Depression, I have lost hope, my W. doesn't love me, respect me.

Acceptance, What happened, happened, we will move forward either together or apart, but all will be okay, God has a plan for me, for her, I must trust in his guidance and recogonize and choose the right path.

It helps tremendously if you can come to terms and depersonalize the affair. Your wife did not do it to you. Nor did she do it to hurt you, nor did she do it out of a lack of respect for you.

She did it because she has or had a lack of respect for herself.
Probably the same reason you did your thing. It takes a while for that to sink in, but it will in time.

God bless you and your family.