I sent H an e-mail earlier this evening. Probably very anti-DB , but I felt like I just had to get it out of my system. This is what I sent:


Why am I expected to be a mind reader? Why am I wrong everytime I don't act as you think I should?

By the way, since you seemed to think that me going was a bad idea, I didn't go to (niece)'s party in case that person happened to be there, although I feel that the feelings of your wife should be more important than those of someone you once dated. It saddens me to think that you were possibly caring more about her comfort than mine since you were just looking out for everyone as opposed to looking out for me.

This marriage will never work if either one of us expects the other to always do what we want them to do, when we want them to do it.

I love you, and if you even want to see me try, I need to feel a reason to want to try. The constant sarcasm and criticism makes it nearly impossible for me to feel that way.


H responded:


I honestly was concerned for you when I brought up the possibility of her being there. I immediately called my sister after that to make sure she wasn't going and told her she had better not be there. Your feelings and the kids are my priority. I will work on showing it better. I am sorry. Please know that my concern WAS for your feelings and nothing else. Please forgive me. I love you. That's why I moved back in. I want to be happy with you and with the kids.



I wrote back saying that I didn't know he talked to SIL, and it seemed as though I misunderstood his intentions and possibly overreacted. For that, I apologized. I also told him I was sorry that I, too, was sarcastic with him earlier this afternoon. There was no excuse for it, and I hoped he would try to keep this in mind as well. We do not always see eye to eye, we do not always understand each other, but I know that we both are tired of arguing with one another. We should both always try to remember this, too.

H e-mailed back with, "ILY, (my childhood nickname)". \:\)

Trying to hang in there!

Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell