dcr - Your advice about really thinking about whether I want to know the answers to questions is very sound. My tendency is to ask every question that pops into my head. Thanks also for pointing me to the "The Need to Know" site. I think I will have the W read that. I will go again to the Marriage Builders site.
How much snooping did you do, if the days and months after finding out? I really need to know how to handle such questions as, how aggressively should I snoop? Should I, or how many times should I, forgive her if she slips up and contacts the OG? Any thoughts?
I will continue to work on myself. I think I've made a lot of progress since Feb, and I think my W was seeing that. Since my W was so totally wrapped up in the OG, it is amazing to me that she was able to see anything at all of the changes in me.
It's incredible to me that she was able to have 12 contacts with him per day, not including their getting together, take care of the household and kids (even minimally), and then act relatively normally around me (even having sex). How did she handle all that?
