Hi RC, just catching up on your stitch. Boy, does it sound familiar at my house! I just thought all men were like that...lol. Seriously, I have learned that it is a big difference in how we women think and feel and the men we are M to.
I will tell you something that my H used to do that was a complete turn off for me. I would be washing dishes and he would come up behind me and feel certain parts of my body. Well, here I am trying to do "practical stuff" like washing dishes and I certainly don't feel romantic and how am I suppose to respond to him gropping me from behind and I have my hands in dishwater? I tried to tell him that approach did not work for me, but he kept on doing it in spite of me telling him that it was really something I did not like. He could not understand that just b/c he like it, he didn't understand why I shouldn't like it also. So, I used one of Gary Smalley's "picture word" illustrations to explain to him by useing something he did not like to eat. I happen to love that particular food and b/c I liked it I could not understand why he couldn't like it, therefore what if I continued to serve this particular food that he hated all the time. How would he feel about that. I like that food, therefore he should like it, therfore I continued to serve it to him. Well, he finally got the picture and he stopped doing it. But, he was very, very hurt. The male ego is the most fragile thing in this world! They do take it as a rejection of "them".....not the approach or the timing, etc. I tried many times to tell him that to come up behind me and kiss my cheek, touch my neck, back, ear, and be sweet about it was ok, but to come and ram his hands down my pants or grab my brest and start squeezing them, without any working up to that point or any warning (so to speak) all the while I'm washing dishes.....just did not work for me. Why could he not understand that? Instead, he turned away in a huff.
The "pouting" is what I've seen many times when he felt rejected. If they only know how childish that appeared to women. Again, it is the difference between the sexes. "Timinig" in my M has seem to be one of our biggest problems. When I was so tired I could barely move and just want to crash.....that would be the time he wanted to have sex. I used to wonder if it turned him on to watch me work myself to death, b/c every time.....he got horny.
Okay, so what to do about the trip. Have you tried to talk to him about some of the things like you talk to us? You know, how you want to have good sex and try new things, but you are afraid of what he will think? And.....after the incident the other night and he felt rejected (of course that is his insecurity showing).....if you could just sofly talk to him about that and explain that you were worn out and needed time, plus we women are very "practical" about some things we think needs to be done first before we can enjoy the intimate times. Tell him that you really want to show him how much you want to work on this R with him and do "special" things for him in the bedroom. Just talk. Perhaps, when you get on the road....you could gently bring up the subject of how you wanted this to be very special and you wanted to do something, but was a little afraid or felt insecure about his reaction. Just ask him how he would feel about you surprising him with .......whatever. In other words, you gently throw the ball to him and wait for his answer and for him to throw it back to you. If he doesn't say anything (like my H) then you have a problem (bless your heart).
It's late and I got to go to bed, sweetie. Talk to you later. Good luck.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
