Thanks JM, you make me feel better. I'm afraid to call though. If she doesn't answer or is negative, I'll feel worse. That's why I've always done the "card thing." One way communication with the hope that she will call or something. Do you really think I should call or maybe send a card or a text?
Yes, I do need closure. If she would sit down and talk with me and tell me she's happy and going "straight", and has no desire to be with me anymore, etc., I would feel much better about everything. I could definitely close this door. Or, if she said she's still thinking through the situation, I could hang on a little longer. I just don't know which to choose. Of course, she told me the last time we talked she didn't want any further communication with me and "our paths are not the same - as lovers or friends." Whatever that means.
I see your point with the sex. orient. confusion. This is just a "phase". She's been "gay" her whole life. She's just been brainwashed with the religious stuff. At least, that's how I see it. I told her about a year ago when she was expressing concern with all this that she'd change her mind and decide to be happy and content with her sexuality when she is older (she's only 38). I expect her to definitely call in 2, 3, 4 years. Of course, I may not be available.
On the other hand, yes, I suppose if I was trying to give it up, I'd run the other way. But I would never make that decision so it's hard to empathize.
Regarding being "just friends", we had/have such a Passionate connection, I really don't think we could be around each other without being attracted to each other. Which is possibly why she's avoiding me. But, yes, I would really love to just be "friends" with her if that's all I could have. I sincerely do miss her friendship.
