Well, hallelujah! I'm about to have a spiritual experience! These last posts are the greatest, Steve! And, yes you do deserve a gold star.....more than that...for being the best student ever!
I wanted to laugh and cry all at the same time when you were explaining how you wanted to sweep your wife off her feet and ravish her. Are you sure you haven't seen Gone With the Wind, yet? lol
Oh, she is showing positive signs, alright. A heart? WOW! Plus she calls her H (who she sees is stepping up as a man now) to take charge and do something powerful like have her appointment changed for her! Steve, sweetie, that is a wonderful sign! Plus...you did it, too! Big, big brownie points there with her.
Now, about your mother. Maybe I have told this....can't remember. When my son, who was a big guy with a bigger heart, began to change into a "man"......I was not sure I like his new image at all. I was a bit like you mom and tried to use my "power" as his mother to listen to what I had to say. But, he just told me that I was wanting him to remain a boy and not accept the fact that he was his own man now. He said he had always went along with whatever the family wanted him to do b/c he did not want to cause hard feelings, but no more b/c he had grown up and I was going to have to live with that fact. Guess what? That is exactly what I had to do, too. I see you mother doing the very same thing! She is having a hard time excepting these changes in you. Tough! She has no choice in the matter. You are your own boss. If she wants a normal relationship with her son, she will have to accept his changes. Stick to your guns, sweetie. The family will come around at some point. Right now, the W and baby are your priority.
I can tell that reading Making her Happy is helping your alpha male self! But, isn't his name David Cunningham? Maybe I am mistaken....anyway, if it is helping, that is what is important.
Back to her pursuing you.......as I've told you before, it has never, ever been my nature to do like I see women in the movies and how they "pursue" a man. I would dress sexy and flirt and show more affection, but that was about as far as I could go with it. To actually initiate the sex itself was always so hard b/c I saw that as being the "man's role" and I know that sounds terribly old fashion. I think your W is showing several signs that she is liking what she is seeing in her "new" husband. If you do get all the right signals from her......maybe...now, I'm just saying "maybe" she does want you to "take her" and be very passionate with her. She has seen these other changes in you, maybe she is wondering if you have changed in bed also??? Tricky situation, so be careful. As Saffie said, we are a complex creature!
I just feel that this time that you have coming up to "relax" together is going to have some good results.
You mentioned some other feelings that you didn't understand why you were feeling those emotions or something to that effect. You must realize how much change has taken place in your body, your mind, and your attitude. Look how fast you have grown!!! You have taken in so much information and tried to grasp and apply all of it the best you could, so I think you are just kind of exhausted from all of it. It is like you went to "boot camp" and now you need to relax a litte bit and try to just enjoy life. I know that it bothers you that your W "stepped down" in her choice of OM, but as Saffie has explained, that is common place with most people and affairs. Men who have beautiful wives go have an affair with an ugly woman. So, it doesn't always make sense. Stop trying to figure it out, okay? You are the one that is getting the victory here, not the OM. I know if she was still hung up on the OM, she would not be making heart-shapes out of ketchup on your dinner! These are messages she is sending you.
Steve, I love your sense of humor. I hope you show that side of yourself to your wife. That is also a good way to gradually get back into a closer relationship with her. Having a good time, relaxing with each other, playing or flirting with a sense of humor, and not talking R will get you there quicker than anything else.
Okay, okay.....so I've written another looooong post...lol. But I am so excited for you. I just know you will have your success story posted very soon.
God bless.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
