One of the questions I asked my H when we were discussing his A was "did you use protection?" I knew that he got "fixed" 28 years ago so pregnancy wasn't on my mind! I told him that I was concerned about STD's. She mentioned in one of her letters to him that "the first time they had sex it had been a long time for her" (she claimed that she had been widowed for 10 years but she never mentioned how many men she had been with in that lenght of time). I told him that he couldn't be sure how truthful she was being no matter how "nice" she seemed to be! (the way I see it,she hangs out in a night club,she picked up a married man and started having sex with him even after she knew he was married..so how "nice" is that?)Anyway,he swore to me he used protection and I told him that he'd make sure he wasn't lying to me yet again because if anything developed and I "caught" anything he'd be sorrier that he ever even imagined!! In this day and age there are just no excuses for not using some type of protection. The best protection for a married man/woman is of course DO NOT CHEAT ON YOUR SPOUSE!!!! I took his word that he did use protection and I have not thought about it again. I still every now and then think about his having sex with the OW and it still hurts but the pain is less and the thoughts don't happen as often as they used to. I have gotten more secure and since I have dropped 80 pounds I have discovered that my confidence in my sexuality has really shot up!! I think I look a lot better than that WH**E he had sex with and I know for a fact that now I am definately fulfilling ALL his wants,needs,desires and fantasies!! I just refuse to let negative thoughts of this WH**E and the fact that my H had sex with another woman control my sex life and my relationship with my H!! It hasn't been easy but it has gotten so much better with time. pfroglady
