WRT the party. I can sort of see both sides of the coin b/c I have been there. When my H and I separated the first time he had a brief affair. He was staying with his female cousing and the fling was with her friend who is also her neighbour. This OW was older (not like current one who is 18 yrs younger). She had 3 sons. Hs cousin also has a son and they are both single parents. Some time after we reconciled it was Hs cousins birthday and we called to make sure they were in if we took his present round. They clearly weren't expecting us to arrive so soon b/c as we walked in the door XOW twins were being ushered out of it to be taken home. I said nothing but I can only assume that originally she was supposed to come and pick them up from the party but had been told they would be brought home in the light of our telephone call.
What everyone failed to understand is that I was the one who would've been least embarrassed. When I found out about the A I turned up on her doorstep, invited myself into her house by telling her if she didn't let me in I would shout out what I had come for. I told her that if she came anywhere near my H again I would put notes through all her neighbour's letterboxes telling them exactly the sort of person she really was (and I meant it). What surprised me most about this woman was that she had been left by her H/partner (not sure which) when she was 14 weeks pregnant with her twins and they already had an older boy. She had experienced how I felt and yet she was still prepared to put me through it! She had everything to be embarrassed about.
I think the real reason they ushered these boys out the house was b/c they all knew I had tackled this woman and I suppose they were frightened that there might be a repeat performance at the child's bday party. They should've known that I would never do that to a child.
You have my sympathy and empathy.
Take care
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
