Yep just like the song from that Christmas show, "just put one foot in front of the other and soon you'll be walking out the door!" So yes it's all good right now. I just had to vent a good bit.
Saturday was D10's b-day party at a rock climbing center. So we were enjoying watching the girls and marveling at D10s abilities. My wife looked at me and asked if I'd like to join then next time they go climbing. At first I said possibly but later she asked again and I said sure, just let me know next time y'all go. She said something about possibly tonight but I have yet to hear a word about it.
Sunday she emailed me about having dinner with some very close friends who wanted to give D10 her birthday gift. So our two families went to our favorite pizza parlor, a place we all have had many a dinner together. It felt great and if you didn't know better you'd have thought we were two happy families.
Then this morning we have chapel at school and low and behold who shows up and sits with me, yep my wife. Honestly I was struggling with this because for whatever reason I was fighting a bit of anger again. In the end I was able to just sit there and enjoy the fact that we were together at least for this brief time.
So I've been slowly and surely getting better and better. After 16 months I'm doing pretty well. I have no idea where we are going and I'm finally getting ok with that. For a bit earlier this year I had given up and started exploring options. Now I have decided it's time to re-read Divorce Remedy for myself to help me continue to heal my heart and give our family a chance. She's not filed and has made some comments about not looking to either. Maybe I can get a good bit further down that path in a short amount of time. Maybe we can make some strides, I'm not expecting it, not even hoping for it. All I know is I have to continue to work to be the best catfan I can be.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
