I just want to make it better. . .

[seekpeaceofmind]

I think his view is different - he believes that he worked on the M and gave it a "chance". When I said once that I was upset that he was taking our M vows lightly, he said that he didn't think 12 years together was taking it lightly. I would not equate time spent to commitment or effort. I'm sure that he also believes that he "tried" by going to 5 sessions of MC, but I don't think he put anything of himself into that process. Etc. My impression is that he basically wants to stay on the surface of things.

Today I called him by mistake. He is home sick again - 2nd time with pneumonia in 4 months. He mentioned that he needs to get some things from the house, so I took the opportunity to say that, altho I wasn't really prepared to discuss it with him yet, I was gearing up to sort/pack things and get the house ready to put on the market. I just kind of blurted it out. So, I crossed that bridge without having to agonize over what to say, when to say it, how to say it. I'll still have to actually do the work and have a more specific discussion with him, but I set the stage.

I am starting to feel more like my old self again. It's great to have Spring arriving finally. It's been a long Winter - both literally and metaphorically. . . .