Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
Just wanted to let everyone know that Jen contacted me by email. She's o.k. but is having internet problems. She says she misses everyone. She hopes to have the problem fixed soon.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
I'm at a internet cafe right now. Still no dang connection at home. May have it tomorrow but I won't hold my breath!!
So to let you all know whats going on...
Tuesday H and I had to sign some papers (for D to travel with just one parent) we went to lunch first. It went pretty good except that H got to talking about the R. I told him that wasn't something I wanted to talk about but he said "we never talked about it when we were together and that wasn't good. It's something we should talk about" I just thought that why now? You know? So after luch when we were leaving I asked him if spending time with me made him unconfortable. He said no it's actually more enjoyable now. I told him I was trying not to nag and he said he knew that and appreciated it. So we went and signed the travel documents and he left me off at the bank. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and told him thanks for lunch.
The rest of the week was just normal for us.
I've been trying to process our conversations but realize that I'm over analysing them so I've tried to stop.
He came by yesterday to fix something for us and then lreft to see a friend about issues they're having.
Today he took D to the beach. I asked if I could go and he said it wouldn't be healthy. I didn't ask to whom. He looked sorry that I couldn't go though.
He told me that I need to seperate my emotions form reality. I agreed that I'm too emotional. He said that he understands that I need to cry and that soon it'll get easier. He said he's shed his tears.
well, I gotta go check in on you guys. I'll try and check in here again really soon,
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Eventhough your H was not comfortable with you going to the beach with him and D, there are many positives. H has noticed that you're not "nagging". He said he does feel comfortable around you and that it's more enjoyable now. This is great! Don't focus on not going to the beach today, focus on the positive babysteps. He does appreciate the changes. Keep it going!!! We miss you around here. Hope to hear from you again real soon.
((((((Jen))))))
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
Good to hear from you. Congrats on the baby step of no nagging. It's a big one to them. I find myself biting my tongue all the time and it's made me realize just how critical and negative I was. It's nice to leave that behind.
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
Jen, I hope you get your internet connection back today!
I see many positives in your current sitch, esp Your H telling that he enjoys been around you now. I would suggest that next time when H takes D to the beach or some place else you don't ask if you can come too, let him ask you if you want to join them (and if he does, you say "no"! at least once). It's just my gut feeling... Give it a thought and see if feels like the right thing to do.
It's great that he noticed the nagging ceased!
Come back soon, Jen, we miss you here, ((hugs)).
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
hi everyone. i figured out how to post from my mobile. please ignore my bad grammar this one time ok? i don't know why H wants to do the R talk so much. it's so uncomfortable right now because I mess up and ask him to come home etc. it gets to the point that I don't want him to come around. I don't feel strong enough yet. how do I tell him without pushing him away? thanks! Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
hi everyone. i figured out how to post from my mobile. please ignore my bad grammar this one time ok? i don't know why H wants to do the R talk so much. it's so uncomfortable right now because I mess up and ask him to come home etc. it gets to the point that I don't want him to come around. I don't feel strong enough yet. how do I tell him without pushing him away? thanks! Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
hi everyone. i figured out how to post from my mobile. please ignore my bad grammar this one time ok? i don't know why H wants to do the R talk so much. it's so uncomfortable right now because I mess up and ask him to come home etc. it gets to the point that I don't want him to come around. I don't feel strong enough yet. how do I tell him without pushing him away? thanks! Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
