Hope4us' Struggle, part 2

[Hope4us]

I understand all that Puppy. I get that WD will be hell. I know it will take her 3 or more months to really meet any of my needs, and I'm prepared for that. But if she won't agree to a NC letter and to get rid of her affair baggage how am I supposed to believe she's serious about the affair ending and trying to make us work?

If she would send the NC letter and get rid of the pictures, notes, Victoria's Secret stuff I've told her that we can put any R talks on hold for a while and just begin to get comfortable around each other again. But if she won't at least agree to NC letter, how can I trust that she's telling me the truth?

Should I just say to her, Ok, I'm going to trust that you did say to OM that you can't see or talk to him again, but if you do I'm divorcing you? If she won't agree to a NC letter and periodically contacts him (which I have no way of verifying whether she does or not) the we could be in this holding pattern for YEARS and never have a chance at saving our marriage. She could just say in two years, see, I told you I didn't love you and it wouldn't work and what do I say then? Have you had contact with OM? And she lies and says no and then what? I've wasted two years of my life chasing a dream that I have no hope of obtaining.

I've never said I don't love her. I've said that I just am at the point where I don't think that me loving her is enough for me to put up with the pain and disresepct of her not even agreeing to send a NC letter.

I'm not shooting the messenger. I can't tell you how much I appreciate the help, but I just feel like she may need a little further push into the reality that I'm not going to wait forever and let her hurt our kids more by giving them false hope when she may have no intention of NC. ya know?