VERY good relationship w/my "husband" (not legally married, but living together). Always have had a really GREAT relationship/friendship for the past 8-1/2 years. Last year he had a mini-MLC, brought on by a lawsuit and his father's heart attack. There was another woman - a 6 mo. EA. She is a party girl and he felt like he wanted a stress free existance. He also felt like he could "fix" her problems and "help" her. It included PA, but that was not the main attraction at all. The affair is completely over now. We never really separated, always talked openly about the situation (he always said he loved me, but just couldn't stop himself from exploring another potential life) and with DB on my side we are back together and mostly happy.
But... I am having trouble moving past it all and feeling secure again. I think this is totally understandable - esp. since we really are very good friends and even throughout the whole affair had a good relationship. However, I currently keep thinking about the hurt I felt every few hours (it's been over for 3 months now). I know all the details about the affair (very unfullfilling, so it's easier not to be jealous), I have forgiven him (I am hurt, but not angry) and I do trust that it's over and he wants to be with me. It's just that I feel sad (almost depressed) on and off. I'm not sure how to really move past it completely. Maybe it just takes time?
I also am hesitant to share these feelings with him. I really AM happy to be together again, and I don't want to feel so insecure and needy. And since throughout the whole affair I was the strong/positive/DB one, it's hard to suddenly be "but, now I need to be taken care of, I need constant reassurance right now". I don't want him scare him away at this point now that we've come so far...
I really think time will heal, just wondering if anyone had any experience on how to make it happen faster/easier.
