Need quick advice....got a call today from a friend that said my H told him he was getting divorced....do I ask H about this?
My heart just dropped to my stomach.....now I'm just sick...
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
In a word NO, I am so sorry for you, it makes my blood boil. I heard my H had got remarried after he swore he had no intention of doing so to both me and his kids! via local gossip.
For now do nothing. You need time to just think about what you want to say if and when he gets the guts to tell you himself and then again it just might be him acting "big" to excuse his behaviour-WHO knows how their minds work.
I I heard my H had got remarried after he swore he had no intention of doing so to both me and his kids! via local gossip.
one more to add to the "script" from MLC/WASs, 4nowH also denies he's with ow, but i'msure it's so I dont' "get mad" and try to fight him over the sep. agreement, i'm sure she is just waiting for the D papers.
Treese, just read your other posts, i'm so sorry for all this pain after so many years of b eing together with him)))))))))))) Just wanted to tell you to try not to believe every word he says. Do gather yourself up but if he doesn't bring it up soon I'd call him on it, you can't be the last to know!
Please remember, ABOVE ALL, you WILL be ok
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Thanks everyone, I let it go for now...listening...right now he would just lie about what he said...I don't want the confrontation right now...emotionally I couldn't take another thing...It just made my heart drop that's all...and I have to remember it's coming from another person...I don't know exactly what he said...or it could be true...who really knows....
Right now I will stay still....my time will come...
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
Treese, H tells me that he doesn't say anything to anyone about what's between us. He only says "we're having some problems right now". So it might just be something that was easier for your H to say and not get 20 questions in return. Who knows, but it's good that you're trying to leave it alone for now.
I love when they say that...who's having the problem...it wouldn't be me...my H told people that WE'VE been talking about this for a long time...BS!!! And he tells people it's a mutual decision...He's a very good liar....
It's the Happy face and the I can't wait to get out of your house look that gets me and I'd like to slap it off his face...
I hope it goes limp forever......
I'm a little angry right now.....
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
Well H got home from taking son to baseball and called on his way home to see if we wanted anything to eat..I said no, not eating much these days...Anyway...they got home and played rummy, I tried to just speak a few word but H wouldn't give me the time of day, he wouldn't even look at me...oh well, went up and took a bath and ignored him until he left...D15 was in her room and he didn't talk to her at all, probably because she doesn't want anything to do with him right now...he said bye to her that's it then rushed off....
He kept watching the clock, so I said, :got somewhere to be? I knew but I was being sarcastic...
So I walked upstairs, no tears, just sadness for him...his children think they have been robbed of 8 years of their lives... He has changed them forever....what a loss....if my kids didn't talk to me it would kill me...it doesn't appear to bother him..of course that is on the outside....
So,I'm off to bed, hopefully I'll get some rest tonight...
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
T My H did that too tld friends we split..like it was mutual just shoes how guilty they feel and somehow feel they might be judged if told friend..I walked out b/c I wanted to play for a while they know society wont approve of their choice to abandom family
they lie to them selves hoping it will become the truth as their choice hurts them so much and they are running from deeper pain..maybe childhood wounds that they can not face or maybe they have not gone thru previous developmental stages properly like adolescencs..there are many schools of thought it is not about us sorry for your pain it will get lighter peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
I am starting to get that FINALLY! I mean that they have to say something to these people we've known for years and years...sad thing is they are OUR friends...he has to get a whole new group of friends...but then again that's what he said he was going to do....cause none of them would agree with what he did...
I think there are some deeper issues with him.. no normal human being would keep a child a secret for 8 years and not tell a sole...can you imagine carrying that around with you for 8 years....but now I'm paying the price....my kids and I are still in shock. the people I work with say they give me credit for being able to get up in the morning and still come to work day after day...well soon the work year will be over as I work at a school and I will have to fill my summer days. Son travels with baseball so that will keep me busy and D15 is in volleyball...but I want something for me...H is getting off way to easy...just like he wants it.. Did your H also tell you he just didn't want to be married anymore? H also told my D15 that he had a girlfriend and that she was a good person, and to tell mom to quit fighting for him, he hasn't loved me for 15 years....what a thing to tell a 15 year old...
OH well, another day in the life of ME...Jerry Springer here I come.......
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
Treese - just stopping in to lend some support. As you can see, I've changed my user ID---I know I'm paranoid, just a feeling that H has read my posts.
I haven't really heard much from H since my LAST e-mail saying that I would not discuss D by e-mail and I will not tell the kids or the world that D is a mutual decision. He's been more angry this week. He is normally such a loving caring person, but he has not didn't say one word to me when I told him my back was acting up; I lost the school board election; and told him I was going to the dentist because I had a crown fall off. It's like he's decided not to care.........
I wish I had some words of advice (but I'm in need of some myself), other than hang in there and try to really let go. Some days I just get angry about the control that H has over the situation. We need to get control of ourselves, and let them be..............
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
