Ok I get it now, its the approach that I need to take when I reject him.
Yes, the approach makes all the difference. And probably the frequency also. You can be very warm and sincere with a request for some space or private time (not now honey), but that would also become frustrating if that becomes the norm instead of the occasional request.
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We are driving, and its at a hotel, and you are right for the surprise I would like it to be bedroom related. But that could lead itself into a problem that I mentioned before...is this something that she did with the OM...I would like it to be something 'sweet' not 'hot' if it goes there that is fine.
That becomes a little more difficult. I can understand your concern with his being upset by something new or different. Personally I wasn't too hung up with anything new that happened with W and I, so I was going to suggest just that. For me, different = exciting. Different location, position, scenario, time of day, etc.
How about in the car on the way to the hotel? Is there a pool at the hotel? That's usually a good place to get his imagination going.
