Went to bed by 8 last night. It was nice. Woke up this morning to gloom and 6 inches of snow. That was not nice. So my mood is crabby... maybe I should say the weather is matching my mood. I feel like crying... I'm grieving finally and need to set some new goals for myself. Need something to look forward to, something to focus on. So I can stop focusing on the losses I've faced. KWIM?
Sorry you need to vent and grieve, but I think many of us have been there. That's OK to just let those things happen naturally and take their time to process. Know that it's a process that will pass, and you'll grow through it. Probably a good time for some distractions too, like say yoga, or swimming, or some sort of other activities. With the nice weather coming, I have this one friend who keeps a gorgeous back yard, including landscaping and a pergola. Maybe that kind of stuff can help?
Jules, no matter how strong we believe we are at the moment, we are still vulnerable to our emotions.
You have become officially divorced, this is not a good thing no matter what. It is something sad and most of the time, avoidable. You are supposed to mourn this loss.
The thing is, and how many times have we said it, you have the distinction of being able to look back and hold your head up high because of how you have handled all of it.
So mourn, be upset, be sad, be disappointed. Give yourself some time to feel all of these emotions and then come on back to the real world.
I will say this to start you back on the correct focus. Lets take a look at Julie today:
1. SAHM- now supporting herself and her 2 girls.
2. Reliant on H- Miss independant....
3. Friends??? Look at the relationships you have forged since all of this started.
It is all about perspective Jules, so absorb the loss, then focus on how amazing you are and all that you have accomplished while going through something that has devistated many others in your same position. You have a lot to be proud of.......
Well we know how this goes, don't we? We think that when we get to a certain point the grieving has been done and the marriage is water under the bridge, or so we convince ourself. Truth is that the finality of it all brings it all back to the surface. It was much more than a piece of paper that states it's now dissolved.
I'll repeat to you what you just told me this morning. What separates us from our spouses is our compassion & love. We know that this didn't have to happen and that our kids suffer because of it. We also know that we can go on and make a better life because of the type of people we are.
Although I'm glad that I DB'd, for me (and also because I have gotten to meet the most amazing people), I stopped believing a longggggggggg time ago for any other outcome. I wish that I had not held onto "believe none of what they say and half of what they do" or "look for the baby steps". I see this journey for what it is. I used to sit back and hope for my ex to make his way through "the tunnel". I now feel as if we've gone through a tunnel as well. For us, making our way through the tunnel brought us a divorce AND a whole new life, but we have to mourn the old one before we can fully appreciate the blessings ahead of us.
