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I contributed to the demise of my M in part b/c I love to debate and play devil's advocate, and my X did NOT appreciate that. It would have been better to do the whole quiet active listening thing, letting her merely vent. You don't necessarily lose yourself when you provide such passes to your partner, IMHO.



I love to debate and play devil's advocate also. I have to get better with the listening also.

I agree, if resentment builds up, that's my issue. It would require mind-reading for it to be her issue...and even then, whose fault is it if I feel resentful.

This has been a useful topic. I like to hear different opinions and also when others have similar issues, like when you have a wild thought suddenly to swerve to hit pedestrians. \:\) Or is that just me?

In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
Abraham Lincoln

It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.
Theodore Roosevelt