Your note does come across as unloving.....I think you need to do a little editing to indicate that.
Hi there, Hope4us.
I'm not familiar with your sitch, but I just wanted to chime in here and say that I agree with Puppy. However, I think the letter requires a LOT of editing.
I DO understand how angry and frustrated you must be with your W, but IMHO, if you're going to give her a letter, it should NOT be this one. At least not the way this letter is written. If I were your W, I would immediately become angry and defensive. You're pointing out EVERY SINGLE thing she is doing wrong - and remember, right or wrong, WASs do not like to hear it.
Your letter contains some statements that begin with "You, Your, You're", when they should begin with "I". They should be about how certain actions/choices of hers effect you.
Like this for example:
Originally Posted By: Hope4us
I've had you completely rub in my face your affair even after I discovered it. You have destroyed my confidence and made me question everything in my life that I knew and trusted and I WILL NOT stand for that any longer. You have lied to the kids and seem to be lying to them still by telling them you will try to make our marriage work when you can’t even agree to three simple things that would give us the best chance to save our marriage for US and for our family.
How can you rewrite this without coming off as pointing the finger and placing blame?
Hmm...Just an example here: "The blatant disregard, deceit, disrespect that this affair has brought into our M, into our home, onto our family is something that I will no longer tolerate. Our family is suffering tremendously, and I can no longer stand by and do nothing about it."
(((Hang in there.)))
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
