I am so sorry that you are going through all this.
I am sure you know, but will tell you anyway, that even if you did get a full time job he would find something else.
If you did that something else then it would be still another thing.
And so on.
Sounds like he still hasn't realized that external things cannot make him happy. He's still looking for that magic bullet.
Whether it be alcohol, OW, coming home, leaving again, filing for divorce, etc etc.
He's obviously still searching for something that will make him happy and he's looking outward for those answers rather than inward. He keeps hoping that SOMETHING will work.
How to get him to look inward? Well, if we had an answer to that then none of us would be here.
I think it takes some way longer than others to realize that all this "searching" is really fruitless. That all it is is masking the symptoms for a while only to have them come back stronger and quicker than before.
I guess some never figure it out.
I hope your H figures it out soon.
BFM
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections
