FIB

sometimes we need to save ourselves...

i looked at it this way

just like in lifesaving classes...I wanted to save the person I thought LSS was

but

you can't saving a drowning person until they stop struggling

they will pull you down with them
so
you have to wait
and watch them struggle

sometimes
in their flailing...they even get to shore

maybe not the safest shore
maybe not the shore we chose

but they reached a shore of sorts

I needed to save me
to make sure that I was around to teach my boys the lessons they need to learn

there is no dishonor in saving yourself
there is no dishonor is admitting you are not equipped to save anyone else

we have one life to live
with grace
and dignity

we are children of God

and
God already suffered for our sins
he does not require us to repeat that