In response to your question about the romantic evening, there would be no sex at any point. In my opinion, she wants the romance for the romance without any reciprocation on her part. Bear in mind, the first time she told me she thought this would be a great evening was at least ten years ago. In her mind, all of my romancing and wooing has to come without the expection or desire for sex in order for it to be genuine in her eyes. I can not recall the last date or any other such activity that actually resulted in sex. By the time the babysitter has been taken home 5-15 minutes, the wife is in bed with a book or asleep with a very obvious do not disturb sign. This holds true for our anniversery or any other occasion when most people expect to "celebrate". I think she often picks fights around those times to give herself the "emotional distance" excuse. I do recognize she needs time alone. I try to give her as much space as I can to go out with her friends or whatever else we can do on our limited budget.
