W2G, wow, sounds like things are looking up for you. Keep up the great work, your H IS coming around. Keep the expectations low as you have stated, all will work out for you in the end.
Thank you for thinking so positively about everything... it seems reality isn't quite so positive...
Although I truly believe as H's wife that I should be here to help him through this time of recovery I also want to be here for him.. it just hurts today... today D2 told him she wants to go to Daddy's house.. and he said "soon".. once his mouth feels a little bit better. So I asked him if he's planning on staying the week? To make sure that he's well on his way to recovery and then going to head back to the apartment. He said that he'll probably stay until Friday.
I know I shouldn't feel so devastated by this but it was just a big blow... my heart feels really heavy. Obviously the "I'm Sorry" didn't mean "I've Made a Mistake" or "I want to come home".. I don't know what it meant.. but it hasn't changed anything.
I can't stay on long.. so I'll have to check on all of you once things settle around here... I have to make sure D2 doesn't get too close to H.. she's already hit him in the mouth, accidentally, once.
I'm sorry you're feeling down. It's so hard when you get such a positive sign as you did with H's 'I'm sorry' and theen things appear to backslide.
I wouldn't read too much into his going home though.....his apologising and saying ILY was a big step to take. He may need some time in his cave to think about it before taking another step towards you. That would be my take on it anyway....
I saw on BNDs thread in MLC aswell thaat her H said he wanted to come home and then took a year to actually do it! It's going to happen for you too- I know it so hang in there. You are doing fabulously!!
L.xx
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart. And you'll never walk alone.
Sorry things aren't progressing as much as you want them to at this point. I am sure that even with "no expectations" being the guideline, it is hard not to have any when he says ILY and I'm Sorry.
My D(2 in three weeks!) is asking "where daddy go?" now, that is new. So I understand wishing for you both to be under one roof.
Try not to get discouraged. He IS staying with you this week, and he did say he was sorry. So things are progressing, bit by bit.....
I know. Go get a latte--you'll feel better OK so not even Starbucks helps when you feel disappointed, but it was worth a shot....
W2G, I know how disappointed you must be feeling. Two weeks ago my H told me he wanted to move back and take things very slow. The following day he was having second thoughts about it and for now has decided it's not a good idea because he's still confused and doesn't want to get my hopes up. I understand this is very common for the WAS - they move forward, then distance themselves again. I've read some of the success stories and this type of behaviour can go on for a long time. Try to keep your expectations low at this point (it's hard not to have any expectations after all that's happened lately) and focus on all the positives. Patience, and more patience!!!
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
I understand this is very common for the WAS - they move forward, then distance themselves again. I've read some of the success stories and this type of behaviour can go on for a long time.
Sadly from a practical point of view (finances, legal , etc.) this sort of flip-flopping gets unsustainable.
Me-48, W-38 M14, D11, S7 W filed D 01/07 W had to move out 06/07 Current Thread
Not to hijack, but I agree w/FB2, it gets so tough. H told me again today he doesn't want to tell S we are separating/separated(?) b/c he doesn't want that to be our situation. I asked what alternative he had to offer and got the famous "I don't know"...
W2G just know we are rooting for you and your marriage. I only want the best for you and your D2. And your H is showing some really positive signs so I think you are wise to give it some more time...
W2G, don't get down on yourself, you are making great strides, keep doing what you are doing, your husband does care for you but is just back and forth now as he doesn't want to open up to you too much until he knows it is the right time. I feel for you as I know how it is getting your hopes up. Keep doing what your doing and all will work out for you.
Take comfort in these leaps and bounds!! "I'm sorry" for anything is a big one. It is sooooo obvious that he cares about you and wants to spend time with you and *loves* you. Be patient, dear Where!! And use the rest of the week as an opportunity to show off your fabulous self!!!
I hope D2 hasn't accidentally punched H in his delicate and healing jaw again!
you are doing SUCH a good job. Focus on all of the good that has happened so recently!!!
I agree with everyone here - he DID say "I am sorry" and ILY and it IS big. THere are so many positives in your sitch!
Hold on and be patient, you're doing great job and it's working.
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
OK so not even Starbucks helps when you feel disappointed, but it was worth a shot....