Have you read Michele's other book, The Sex Starved Marriage? Maybe there are some things in there that might help you think through this issue.
A question...how are you on the GAL stuff? Because that's a place where I've faltered...and I know that when I am really working on GAL, not only is my PMA higher, but I am more attractive to my H. He is all hot and bothered lately because I have started painting on the weekends...even though I am really no artist. But it makes me happy, and I love giving myself permission to just suck at it. My art has gotten a lot better since I stopped trying, lol.
Refocusing on those hobbies has another upside as well: it puts your attention on you and what you're doing instead of on H and what he's NOT doing. Since I've been working on detaching, since I've re-engaged in GAL/PMA activities more, and since I've given him my boundaries, it's gotten better. Perhaps you could draft a similar list? In writing, what you want and what you're willing to do as well.
I'm sorry you're in this place. I swear, your H and my H ARE twins. Maybe you and I should just go find some hot cabana boys to ride like ponies and maintain a M and friendship with our H's. What do you think? *grin*
BTW, how are you making yourself happy these days?
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
