First, I stick by that item you quote. He hasn't changed a bit.
Being from NC, basketball is big. You have heard of the full-court press. That is what people do when they want to beat you. What he is doing isn't about love. It isn't about caring. It is about beating you down to get his own way.
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what was it I should tell him? Short and to the point.
The less, the better. The more you talk, the more ammo you give him and the more he has to use against you.
Here is what I think. Very simple.
Short and sweet always works. I suggests, "as things stands, I don't want you back." Notice how I said it. Don't not can't. Because the long and short of it from what I see here, you don't want the situation as it stands. And don't covers can't. And should he push (which he will), all you need to say is "actions speak louder than words and I have heard your BS words before."
kissak, as I have said before, he has a long way to go and sadly, he may never get there and to be honest, he has shown no actual attempt to get their. I mean seriously, after 6 weeks at a counselor. If you think he has changed, I have a bridge for you. It is all more of the same. He is perfectly content to hold two women hostage to his whims. He is a master manipulator. He manipulates you and he manipulates OW. When he is with one of you, he wants the other and has no problem saying so.
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What is it I really need to look for to take him seriously?
You tell me. But for starters, he cannot associate with OW. When I was in counseling way back, my C said and I remember this clearly, if there is ever going to be a reconciliation, your W can never be in contact with OM again. And as I said, that is for starters.
