this is maryangela -- have to start new thread

[NikB]

Hey Maryangela - I remember this 'phase' and it is the toughest. YOU still consider you two married, he doesn't. I'm talking emotionally..legally obviously is a different story. You've decided to separate in the future, and he's moving on with his life - right in front of you. Keep working on detaching. That is THE most important thing. No expectations.

As for practical "what to do today", you have a few choices and they are all very hard:

- Keep on as is. You're that W who knows her H is cheating and pretends nothing's going on.

- Separate as Just_Me suggested earlier (an in-house separation can work). I thought the way Just_Me suggested phrasing it was perfect. This will be INCREDIBLY hard, just so you're warned. You will need to set some basic ground rules (chores, child care, etc.) but beyond that, have no expectations of him. You'll have to live as if he's nothing more than a roommate (and do you care when your roommate goes out for the night or weekend? Nope.. and you also don't sleep with them, do everything for them, etc.).

You may also want to agree on a rule about no OW at the house. It's a good idea to phrase this one carefully - "Neither of us will bring a date to the house." NOT that you plan on dating but make sure it's clear that the rules apply evenly to both of you. (and yeah, I know it sounds outrageous to you that he'd have her over but yes, it's probably crossed his mind).

- You physically separate now, instead of waiting until the house sells. IMO this is easier on you emotionally, but harder in terms of making and showing positive changes that may turn your M around.

((maryangela))

Sorry, I know this is hard.