Enjoying my life!!!

[fooled again]

kissak,

I know EXACTLY what you are feeling & my first bomb was in 07/06. Back and forth, back and forth he went b/c I was always there ready to give him another chance. I think MLCers will continue to try to have both until they can't have both anymore and are forced to make a choice. If he is weighing you on one hand and OW on the other, he likely has a way to go b/f he is ready to really make it work w/ you.

I realized this w/end that my H has to figure out what he wants first, b/f he can do the work on our M. If that means I have to let him go to do that, whether this is about OW or about something else, then that's what I have to do. Now my H never talked to me about the fact that he was seeing OW - he always told me it was over b/w them & told her it was over b/w us, so I don't know for sure whether he is still seeing OW. It makes it even harder to trust, to give more chances. At least you have disclosure on his part - consider yourself lucky that he's talking to you about what's going on in his head.

I know that one day my H will look at his life and realize what a terrible mistake he has made. I don't know how long that will take, but I honestly believe that in my sitch anyway, my H has to come to that realization on his own. Having the luxury of flipping back and forth from me to OW will not bring him closer to making that decision.

I too want my H to come back to me more than anything, but until he actually feels the loss of me, he will have no idea what life w/out me would be like.

Maybe there will come a time for you to give your H another chance, so maybe you should save that "one last chance" for when you know it's over w/ OW. This may take time, months, maybe years, but isn't it better that your H know the true value of that "one last chance"?

I know how hard this is, but maybe letting them go is truly the only way to get them back.

FA