[quote]He actually calmed down quite a bit after I said that
He respected your boundary. That is great.
Thanks for the hugs, lwb! Yes, that is so cool; I have always had problems standing up for myself & setting boundaries so I am proud of myself for that!!!
I had another rehearsal tonight and got home around 11:30. I had told H I had blisters all over my feet and he actually went to the drugstore and bought some bandages for blisters for me! And then H was more friendly when I saw him tonight, not his usual kind of depressed and barely talking to me & barely looking at me like he doesn't want to see me sometimes (don't know why b/c I am looking pretty hot lately for a 43 year old anyway)!!! Karen
I think when they are in MLC they just don't see anything around them. They don't see the hurt and the wide path of destruction that they are leaving in their "quest for happiness". All of those things he said he wanted you to change were just excuses for him to feel better about walking away. He probably is ticked off that you actually took all of his excuses to heart and improved yourself.
I have been in this sich for nearly 2 years. You know I don't have it figured out and I hope because you found this site so much earlier than I that you are at a better place than I was. It has only been since Easter that I haven't felt consumed with everything. I've only been doing DB for a month. So chin up and make a great day. kat
Kat, Thanks for the hugs!!! I think you are right about MLC, I think they don't see it, don't want to see us or things clearly, b/c I think the guilt would eat them up too much!!!
I'm so glad that you are DBing and on the boards here after having gone 2 years without DBing! I feel so much stronger and happier now that I am DBing, GALing, posting here, and all the other positive stuff I am doing. I feel stronger all the time, which is so good b/c I was feeling so weak before I discovered DB and everyone here!!! Karen
Had another rehearsal last night until midnight--our last dress rehearsal is tonight and the play starts tomorrow night! I need another week of practice though at least!!! Hopefully the audiences will be nice--I'm getting a little nervous now!!!
I have a C appt. tomorrow so that is probably good timing, and also take the kids, D8 and S14, to her as well for a first appt. to see if she thinks they are doing OK with the separation.
H is out of town today and tomorrow so D8 will have to go the next 2 days to the theatre backstage until about midnight--and S14 is working backstage also, so they will both be exhausted I think, and I will be also!!! It is a lot of fun and has really kept me busy through all the craziness in my life so I am glad I did it!!!
H and I have been emailing a little bit almost every day. We were never good at communicating with each other & in the past he wouldn't read my emails even sometimes. I know I should probably be trying not to respond to his emails or just email him re: the kids. Well, I start by doing that and then we might do a friendly email after that, too. I guess I should be trying to not do hardly an emails & go more dark (I haven't seen him much other than that though)? Karen
I'm excited for you and so impressed that you're performing in a play! I'm also extremely impressed that you had the self-control not to throw away H's stupid Good Divorce Book. I don't think I could've controlled myself. I probably would've thrown it out the window while driving, put my car in reverse and ran over it a few times. Oopsie.
Have a great day, Karen!
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
I agree. I wouldn't have been able to hold back. "What's this book doing in my car? It certainly isn't mine. In the trash you go!!" lol. Have a great day you deserve it! kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Karen
Karen