Enjoying my life!!!

[kikifree]

Hi Kissak. I know you want him home but , in my opinion, until he is done with OW he cant come home.

He has sooo many times and it throws you in a loop.

Maybe tel him you will give him another chance but only when OW is completely out of the picture.

You can't right now..because you know it is not over with OW.

You need to be strong...it isnt easy but you can do it.

[kissak]

Thanks kiki...that is what I really want to tell him, but Im afraid to....what if it would work this time? That is what Im having a prob with.

[kissak]

ok...so I think im going to send him an email saying that I want our marriage to work, but until the OW is out of the picture and I have seen the changes in him that he is talking about, there is no way I can give him the chance again. I have given him plenty and will again, IF I see the changes.

I really think this is going to be hard for me, no...I know it will, but it will show my own strength in this.

Pray for me!

[kissak]

Crap! He just called and said he might come and eat lunch with me since he is off early...hasnt done that before. I just said OK.

[Maya44]

Keep us posted for sure Kissak!

[Bworl]

Kissak,

Let me show you what deal breakers look like to me...

But, he still loves her and the big fight they had that supposedly brought him back to me, could have been avoided.

Uhm, ok. You want to come back to me, but you still love her and think that things might have worked out with her if your fight had turned out differently? Sorry. Still cooking apparently.

He says he has feelings for me, not like her though.

So you're ok with being second best in your husbands eyes? Wow. Wouldn't work for me, no thank you.

He said he has seen the changes he can make in our marriage that would make it work, but also knows he can work on things with her.

Uhm, ok dude. Go get your work done with her then. I'm not here as a fall back plan. I'm not here because you had a bad fight and aren't talking right now. Most of all, I'm not here because I just happen to be your flavor of the day. No thanks. Again, he's still not done cooking yet.



WHY?

WHY would you want BACK the man who can say these things to you?

What happens when the next hot babe enters his life in a year, or two, or three?

Even better - what happens after he comes back and the two of YOU have a big fight that doesn't turn out right? Who does he run to then?


Your call Kissak.

I guess it depends on just how badly you want to be able to say that you're reconciling.


Blessings,

Bill

[kissak]

I guess it depends on just how badly you want to be able to say that you're reconciling.
Blessings,
Bill

I guess not that badly....I really wanted to be with him when he was "saying" all the right things...but his actions prove different.

I dont want to give him another chance. He has had plenty of them.

[a new 2moro]

KISSAK..YOU ARE IN A GREAT POSITION TO MAKE DO THE WORK BEFORE YOULET HIM BACK....I HEARD THE WORDS AND TRUSTED HE HAD DONE THE WORK, AND LOOK WHERE I AM...DONT MAKE THAT MISTAKE!

[kissak]

thanks anew2moro....I talked with him a few minutes ago letting him know that a anonomos person had sent me an email that said "your gorgeous, lets get married for a few years, then have a bad break up, LOL".

It upset me, I have no idea who sent it. I told him and all he said was sorry. He told me not to let it upset me or they would be winning. He asked was I ok and I said NO, then he said "well is there something else you want to tell me?" I feel as if he is wanting me to let him off the hook so he can already go back to the OW, only he wont say it.

Of course he didnt stop by for lunch, he called a few min ago and talked to me about the email, then said he was goin home to take a nap, he rode right by my shop and didnt bother to stop....he isnt working on anything with us....he WANTS me to NOT give him the chance.

Im done with this man. BUT still he wants ME TO DO THE WORK!!! I know he probably wants ME to tell him no chance, that is why he keeps questioning me about it.

He is just as manipulative as the OW is.

[fooled again]

kissak,

I know EXACTLY what you are feeling & my first bomb was in 07/06. Back and forth, back and forth he went b/c I was always there ready to give him another chance. I think MLCers will continue to try to have both until they can't have both anymore and are forced to make a choice. If he is weighing you on one hand and OW on the other, he likely has a way to go b/f he is ready to really make it work w/ you.

I realized this w/end that my H has to figure out what he wants first, b/f he can do the work on our M. If that means I have to let him go to do that, whether this is about OW or about something else, then that's what I have to do. Now my H never talked to me about the fact that he was seeing OW - he always told me it was over b/w them & told her it was over b/w us, so I don't know for sure whether he is still seeing OW. It makes it even harder to trust, to give more chances. At least you have disclosure on his part - consider yourself lucky that he's talking to you about what's going on in his head.

I know that one day my H will look at his life and realize what a terrible mistake he has made. I don't know how long that will take, but I honestly believe that in my sitch anyway, my H has to come to that realization on his own. Having the luxury of flipping back and forth from me to OW will not bring him closer to making that decision.

I too want my H to come back to me more than anything, but until he actually feels the loss of me, he will have no idea what life w/out me would be like.

Maybe there will come a time for you to give your H another chance, so maybe you should save that "one last chance" for when you know it's over w/ OW. This may take time, months, maybe years, but isn't it better that your H know the true value of that "one last chance"?

I know how hard this is, but maybe letting them go is truly the only way to get them back.

FA