Enjoying my life!!!

[kissak]

I need help guys....I need some much needed advice on what to do. I had a conversation last night with my H that ended up with him saying it sounded like I didnt want to give him the chance. I was honest with him and told him that I was affraid to. That I didnt want to get hurt, that I knew he wasnt over the OW and if he left again I wanted it to be because it werent going to work, not because he wanted to go back to her. He said he was scared to and couldnt assure me of anything but said he could assure me that it wouldnt be because of the OW.

But, he still loves her and the big fight they had that supposedly brought him back to me, could have been avoided.

I know it isnt over. I know he will want to go back. Although right now he says he doesnt simply because she had little regards to his feelings. But I asked him what about when he gets "over" that. Will he want to go back?

I honestly cant do this. I have no idea what to do. I know it wont work this time either, I DO NOT want to get hurt.

I just sat in the hallway at home this morning in tears, because I want this so badly, and he is asking for the chance, but I see nothing different....but what do I do about it? What if it would work this time?

A part of me wants to tell him that I cant give him another chance because until she is out of the pic, there will be no chance. But another part of me doesnt want to live with the guilt of making that decision.

He says he has feelings for me, not like her though. He said he has seen the changes he can make in our marriage that would make it work, but also knows he can work on things with her.

I guess I entertained the thought of taking him back before I knew the whole story. He has took what he said then and said that he feels different now. He took me saying last night that I was scared about giving him another chance as me saying that I hadnt decided that I was going to or even wanted to.

I dont know what to do...all I know is that I am scared and I dont want to get hurt again or my kids...it already started this morning with me snapping at them....

Im so torn on what to do or how I can make this work if I am in constant fear of him leaving again. And you are right, he is way to confident that I will always be there waiting for him, but what do I do about that? Tell him I am not going to give him the chance until....what?