Stronger - but still confused

[Snow White]

I let H sleep at home last night. He contacted me a few times after he left, to say sorry for what happened on Saturday that he is sorry but does not even know how to be sorry enough. He does not remember at all. He remembers me sitting on the floor of the bathroom crying after he threw everything around, that is about it.

He slept in his car Monday night because he had nowhere to go. He had told me last night that he was going to sleep at his friend's house but at 10:30 let me know he intended to sleep in the car again. I asked him what his long term plan was and he said he couldn't do anything else because I still had his paycheques to pay for everything in the house while he slept in his car. I asked if he would prefer that I file for separation immediatley so he could free up his paycheques, this was met with an immediate no, that is not what I meant. When he looked for work clothes this morning(his little plastic bag still in the car) he couldn't find any. I pointed to the suitcase he had failed to pack the night before that I did as soon as he left.

This is not a dropped subject but it has turned into the difference between accepting the terms of the letter I wrote yesterday or getting legally separated as opposed to moving out. It is true that unless he moves in with family(who he refuses to go near since I have told them) it will be impossible for him to live separately on what is left after all the bills at our house are paid, and as much as everything has sucked up until this point, it is not fair to take his money while he sleeps in the car.