When I tell H no or don't welcome his affections with open arms he usually goes away and more or less pouts about it. I have told him on numerous occations that I am not rejecting him its the affection at that time that I am rejecting.
Racer Chick, Not sure if I can offer any guidance, but I can definitely relate to this situation. I know my W and I go through virtually the same scenarios. You mention above that you are not rejecting him, just the affection at the time. I would say that in his mind, those are one and the same. If he is like me, it is more than just the physical act. It is also his way of connecting emotionally to you. He handles it poorly by pouting about it, but it does hurt to have the person you desire not wanting your affections.
We started to piece our M back together in Jan. this year. In the first couple of months, the affection and intimacy were quite regular and I felt very connected and fulfilled. During this time, if W didn't wasn't in the mood to be intimate on any given night, it really didn't bother me. I wouldn't take every response of "no" personally or as a rejection because overall I felt fulfilled. My 'Love Tank' so to say was full. It made me realize just how much those affections meant to me. It didn't always need to be about sex. A simple warm hug and kiss would go a long way to give me an emotional boost. I begin to feel rejected when the affections slack off for a period of time or when there are repeated responses of "no" to my advances.
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Let me give you an example of what just happened. I had just gotten home from the long weekend with MIL and SIL, I was catching up on the paper. H came up to me and wanted a kiss, I had given him his hugs and kisses when I got home, so I was a bit irritated that he could not see that I was in the middle of something and was pissed about the fact that I was not more than happy to give him more kisses.
What was your response to his wanting a kiss? I'm guessing that it was fairly obvious to him that you were irritated by his request. I can picture this same scenario playing out in our house. I can understand your needing some space and quiet time to relax and unwind, but can you put yourself in your H's shoes? You say he came up and wanted a kiss. Your response of rejecting the request shows him that reading the paper is more important to you than taking a few seconds to give him a kiss. I know that is an irrational conclusion, but I can almost guarantee that is what he was thinking.
Check up on my thread Racer. I think we can learn a lot from each others situations.
