Hello Mr. MLC part tres'...

[cw68]

Wow. A little angry here MMB? Of course you can do what you want, but you ARE still married and if you did outgrow each other, other men will still be there should you get divorced. Please be careful with those kiddos and yourself, too.

[smith18]

Heather,

I somehow suspect that as your dating continues that you wont be posting here much longer. Basically, the further you get into an R with OM, the more you become like the WAS. How many WAS's post here - very few.

You are right that you are an adult with free will. Maybe your H and yourself just need a timeout from the M and maybe 2-3 years from now you will both be back together. I do wonder if you are dating just in spite of your H. Are you doing it because you feel that if he is having fun on the side then gosh darn it I should too?

Please consider what kind of message this is sending your children. Do you want them to grow up thinking that promiscuity is ok?

You came her looking for help and support. You should also accept criticism for when it is obvious to others that you are doing something wrong. If not, then in the words of Forrest - "People have to learn their own way."

Good luck. I really hope this works out for you although it is not the path I would travel.

[mymonkeybug]

I do accept criticism however don't want to be brow beaten. I will continue to post here. What others perceive to be WRONG may simply be wrong for them, doesn't mean it is wrong for me. I need this OM right now to help me drown out the hurt from H. Sure not a healthy way to start a R with someone but I am growing more fond of him by the day which yes surely means I could be growing less fond of H by the day also. H and I are honeslty getting along better now than we ever have and we communicate every single day. I am actually starting to feel like the OW and I recall reading somewhere that that exact thing would happen.

Think everyone...maybe in OUR situation this is exactly what H and I needed at this juncture in our lives. Maybe we needed to go out and have some fun, the fun we didn't have in our earlier years, with others to help us realize that what we have with each other is infact the BE ALL END ALL!!! I know none of you agree with the way we are doing it but our path isn't designed for the faint at heart...lol.

I started seeing OM before I even found out about H's affair.

As for my kids...you may feel I am unwise in dating however my children are protected from it. They do not know this OM exists and have not met him. I WILL NOT subject my children to any dating by myself or by H. They do not need that emotional stress in their lives right now. They do not know his name and do not know I am even seeing anyone. My intentions are to introduce the kids to a man long after I feel there is something serious there. That could takes months. He knows I have kids and the circumstances around my seperation.

[Forrest Gump]

First of all.. You know I will say what I think. Don't expect any less.

Second... You are posting in a place where people are trying to get back together.

Third.. You know I care about you.

I appreciate you posting. I really like the post you just did.

Please don't stop. The worst thing you could do is walk away.

Might I suggest that you really lay out your feelings and what is going thru your mind.

You have done a good job so far, don't stop now.

I don't think I have said what you are doing is wrong. I don't necessarily think that it is the best choice. Some people will think and say it is wrong. Don't take it personal. Take the time and explain to them why you think it is right.

If you are going to walk us thru then please do. I know coming here and writing this is hard. I know you are sad and hurt.

Heather.. Don't walk away just cause you think we don't care about you. You would be "wrong" in doing that.

[mymonkeybug]

Oh trust me I am not walking away. I will continue to post here and let you know how things go.

H and I just had the UGLY phone conversation. He is very paranoid and being secretive again and I am turning into Queen B letting him know I will do everything in my power to protect OUR kids since he has shown they are no longer his priority. Oh I wish this would all just go away.

I need some time and air...if I smoked I would be in big trouble...lol, good thing I am not a drinker either. I just run to another man, that's my weakness I guess.

[cw68]

Is running to another man showing the kids are YOUR priority? I'm not trying to be mean here, but I think that you're going to talk the talk, you should walk the walk.

[mymonkeybug]

The kids are my priority. I spend time with the other man when the kids are with their father. My children are not pawned off on anyone so I can go get some fun me time...my kids are #1.

And if I need me time there is nothing wrong with that. If mommy is a happier individual then so too shall the kids as it will rub off on them if they see mommy is happy and doing OK during this time of our lives.

[cw68]

You sound like your H pushed you into MLC.

[mymonkeybug]

Well if I am I take full responsibility for it...he can't make me do anything and certainly not push me into MLC. Who knows?!?! Interesting thought though.

[inmyplace]

I need this OM right now to help me drown out the hurt from H.

Have you told this to this man?

IMP