I'm Finally Ready to "Drop the Rope"

[fooled again]

Mike,

Yeah, I know you though I was close and I guess I thought so too. But honestly, there have been little signs along the way that I let pass, hoping that in doing so I would show him that I really have forgiven him and I really am able to leave the past behind and concentrate on our future. Obviously he's not able to do that himself. So I have to say to myself that this is not getting me anywhere and I have to step away.

Our sitch's are different in that your W is pushing for a D, but the deception of my H is truly unbearable. I want to shake him and tell him that we are not children, that I am not stupid, that this is real life, not some stupid game. But I know that would do nothing, or at least nothing productive. So I'm getting on with my life too.

Do you feel that calmness, that peace as if some annoying low pitched noise has finally stopped? I always knew I would know when it was time to stop trying. And it was as clear as a bright sunny day to me.

Now I have to be as positive and supportive as possible b/c D is in for some rocky times, as evidenced by the fact that she cried for nearly an hour tonight after H left. I managed to get her giggling before she went to sleep though, so I consider that a big success since her sadness always used to upset me. A switch has truly been flipped for me.

Your friends wedding should be fun, despite and because of the fact that you're moving on. I've always loved weddings, and they're a great opportunity to celebrate life and remind yourself that there will always be hope and love in the world, we just have to open our eyes to it. I'm hoping to make it to my niece's wedding this summer (she's actually my H's niece, so there's a chance he may go too.)

FA