You are being so very strong. It is probably best to not fight it, but to accept that your kids are not going to be with you all the time. It is so tough, but we cant control our wayward spouses.
I wont have my kids belonging in a blended family like you are since the OM's kids are about the same age as my W. But, if I happen to remarry, it could be that my future W may have children herself and I will learn all about step sibling problems that can occur. It sounds like you have your own experience to draw from in figuring out how to have your kids cope in this situation.
I want to warn you of something that might happen somewhere down the way which I encountered recently. My D5 has been referring to OM as daddy. And she thinks she now has 2 daddies. This is going to hurt you if ever you hear your D say that she has a 2nd mommy. Just realize that kids have weird perception of reality and some of it is fantasy.
I wonder, in the case of you or I happening to remarry someone else in the future, how our ex-spouses will feel when our kids mention to them that they really like our new spouses and think of them as a second parent.
Originally Posted By: JennyF
I've really been able to step back from H and see this sitch for what it is. I still love him very much, but I'm feeling my love switch to the kind of love that is letting him go. I love him enough to let him go and not have any expectations of him. That's how I know this love is real.
Very well said. That is how I feel now about my W.
